1. Do it privately, not publicly.
2. Do it as soon as possible. That is more natural than waiting a long time.
3. Speak to one issue at a time. Don’t overload the person with a long list of issues.
4. Once you’ve made a point, don’t keep repeating it.
5. Deal only with actions the person can change. If you ask the person to do something he or she is unable to do, frustration builds in your relationship.
Do you care enough to confront people when it will make a difference?
6. Avoid sarcasm, sarcasm signals that you are angry at people, not at their actions, and may cause them to resent you.
7. Avoid words like always and never. They usually detract from accuracy and make people defensive.
8. Present criticisms as suggestions or questions if possible.
9. Don’t apologize for the confrontational meeting. Doing so detracts from it and may indicate you are not sure you had the right to say what you did.
10. Don’t forget the compliments. Use what I call the “sandwich” in these types of meetings: Compliment — Confront — Compliment.